Personal Ponderings

Help my Unbelief

Sometimes we can feel like we’re in an impossible situation and we have no clue how to fix it or how it could ever get better. Recently, I’ve figured out that it’s impossible for me to figure out life by myself (that’s an ironic sentence). It’s impossible for me to have unbreakable faith through my own willpower. It’s impossible for me to find healing from my heartbreak with my own feeble attempts at forgiveness and self-care. I try so hard to be independent and solve my own problems, but all I do is fall back into old patterns and end up being encompassed once again in a swarm of doubt and fear. If we’re relying on our own strength and willpower, we will not find victory. At my very lowest, when I finally realized I wasn’t capable to clean up the mess that was my life, I wondered if God was able. When life gets incredibly ugly, and you feel betrayed by the people who said they loved you, you wonder if anyone cares. You wonder if you can trust anyone. That’s the beauty of seeing the Light again. A verse I frequently pray is this:

“I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!”

Mark 9:24b NLT

This verse comes from a passage in the book of Mark that records a wonderful miracle Jesus performed. A father calls out to Jesus from the crowd. He had no where else to turn, and he didn’t know what else to do. His son was possessed by an evil spirit that prevented him from speaking and threw his body into brutal seizures (Mark 9:17, 20). The disciples had tried to release the boy from this evil spirit, but they couldn’t do it. The boy’s father, seeing that even men who claimed to be followers of Jesus couldn’t heal his son, doubted that even Jesus could make this miracle happen (Mark 9:18-22). He says to Jesus, “Have mercy on us and help us, if you can” (Mark 9:22b NLT).

“What do you mean, ‘If I can’?” Jesus asked. “Anything is possible if a person believes.”

“The father instantly cried out, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!”

Mark 9:23-24 NLT

In this utterly impossible situation, the father doubted that anyone could help him. All he had to do what admit his doubt to Jesus and ask for His help. Jesus, in His power over death and evil, commanded the evil spirit to leave the boy and never come back again; then He took the boy’s hand and helped him to stand up (Mark 9:25-27). We can learn a lesson from both the father and the son in this miraculous event.

This father lost his son to the power of an evil spirit. He probably thought the boy was gone forever, or would someday be killed in this spirit’s evil attempts at risking his life. He would have felt constantly on edge, just waiting for the worst to happen and his world to crumble around him. He was overwhelmed with fear and doubt. Then Jesus walked into his life and told him that he only needed to believe in Him, for then anything was possible. The father humbled himself before Jesus and admitted his inability to possess this kind of faith on his own. He asked for Jesus’ help, and the Lord reached out and helped him.

The son was possessed with an evil spirit. I’m not sure where his mental capacity was, if he even realized what was happening to him. But if he was cognizant of his situation, I’m sure that he was overwhelmed with fear. He had no control over the evil that was possessing his life and well-being. However, this boy had someone in his life who cared enough to intercede to Jesus on his behalf. Maybe you’ve had an experience like this, where a friend or family member or even a stranger in your life helped to push you towards the Light. God put them in your life at the right time and place so they could bring you before the Lord in fervent prayer. Then Jesus reached out His hand to you, chasing away the demons in your life. He demonstrated that He has ultimate power, even over the evil that was encompassing you. He brought you peace and mercy and grace.

This is what we ought to remember when life seems impossible. In the depths of your impossible situation, God can pull you out. He is always near. All you have to do is recognize your inability to save yourself and ask for His help, and He will reach out and save you.

O Lord, I have come to you for protection;
    don’t let me be disgraced.
Save me and rescue me,
    for you do what is right.
Turn your ear to listen to me,
    and set me free.
Be my rock of safety
    where I can always hide.
Give the order to save me,
    for you are my rock and my fortress.
My God, rescue me from the power of the wicked,
    from the clutches of cruel oppressors.
O Lord, you alone are my hope.
    I’ve trusted you, O Lord, from childhood.
Yes, you have been with me from birth;
    from my mother’s womb you have cared for me.
    No wonder I am always praising you!
7 My life is an example to many,
    because you have been my strength and protection.
That is why I can never stop praising you;
    I declare your glory all day long.

Psalm 71:1-8 NLT

19 Your righteousness, O God, reaches to the highest heavens.
    You have done such wonderful things.
    Who can compare with you, O God?
20 You have allowed me to suffer much hardship,
    but you will restore me to life again
    and lift me up from the depths of the earth.
21 You will restore me to even greater honor
    and comfort me once again.

Psalm 71:19-21 NLT